Through verdurous glooms and winding mossy

John Keats. 1795–1821 624. Ode to a Nightingale
And haply the Queen-Moon is on her throne    Cluster'd around by all her starry Fays           But here there is no light,   Save what from heaven is with the breezes blown     Through verdurous glooms and winding mossy ways.   40	Source: in-italia.com via Savannah on Pinterest

Fassy makeout

Not only is Fassy in town, he's here and he's making out with the best of them.






 Read more about this here:
https://twitter.com/entylawyer/status/256026557083185154/photo/1

FASSY IS IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

So - after surviving my Gosling encounter w/out fainting, I have learned that MICHAEL "FASSY" FASSBENDER is in town as well, working on the same Terrence Malick film. It's "Untitled" as of now.

So we now have Ryan Gosling, Christian Bale AND Michael Fassbender in one place at one time. AND this place just happens to be where I live. 

This was my initial reaction to the news:

you guys - i might lose it. this is an insane amount of testosterone for one place at one time!!!

As my friend Chad recently put it, "Get this woman some water and a fan. She got tha vapors!"

My friend used to work at Whole Foods.  Her old co-workers SAW FASSY last night in the check out line. All the celebrities in Austin are spotted at Whole Foods. 

I think if i saw FASSY AND GOSLING in one month my mind may be permanently blown by the exuding hotness. What can I say? I'm easily excited by hot men. and they don't have to be famous, but in this blog post they are. As writer, Karen Noble, says "I love how a man’s body looks, sprawled out on top of his crumpled comforter in boxer shorts with the computer on his stomach. His face lost in thought, halo-ed by the glow of the screen and soft too — not like a woman but a different kind of softness, no matter the muscle mass or the thinness. I love a man’s arms and his hands with shorter nails, thicker callouses, lean biceps, broad shoulders. A man’s body is built. It is constructed and strong and exciting and when a man spoons up behind you, you can feel everything he has, everything he could give."

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/i-love-men/#3AGgCA6OArGvmLUE.99

i need to write a Jackie Collins style novel. That shit would be juicy. #goodideas

And now - a tribute to FASSY.

Source: google.com via Savannah on Pinterest

Source: media.photobucket.com via Savannah on Pinterest

Source: chelebelleslair.tumblr.com via Savannah on Pinterest

Source: onlyaskeleton.tumblr.com via Savannah on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Savannah on Pinterest

Source: chelebelleslair.tumblr.com via Savannah on Pinterest

Source: gq.com via Savannah on Pinterest

Source: google.fr via Savannah on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Savannah on Pinterest

 

I met Ryan Gosling at Love This Giant

Friday night I went to the David Byrne/St. Vincent, "Love This Giant" tour.The day I got tickets they were rapidly selling out. I didn't have time to see if anyone else wanted a ticket so I bought only one.  Also, I think my friends are tasteful people, but no one I knew is as crazy about David Byrne or St. Vincent like me.

I went and sat in Bass Concert Hall, waiting for the concert to start. One couple told me they had loved David Byrne forever, but had no clue who this "St. Vincent was." I assured them she was fabulous!

The other couple sitting next to me were two older gay friends. One of them whipped out his phone and showed me a burly bald man posing in his mirror. Obviously some sort of dating website was what my fellow concert-goer was looking at. He asked me, "What do you think? Is he hot? He's hot right?"
I agreed. He then said he was scared b/c he was very Christian. I laughed and said, "Well as long as he's out right?"
He laughed. Then we started talking about Byrne and St. Vincent. They didn't know who she was either.

The concert was AMAZING. The whole thing was rather theatrical, different colored lighting for each song, coinciding w/ mood, and a bit of fog about the stage. The ensemble consisted of very talented horn players, a drummer and St. Vincent and Byrne.

About six songs in, I noticed a man entering the third row in front of me in the dark.  Because I know that Ryan Gosling is here filming a movie w/ Terence Malick, Natalie Portman and Christian Bale, I'm on constant alert that at any moment they may appear like little new characters in the tableau of Austin.

And since I have seen many a paparazzi picture of Gosling, I KNEW  this was him!  He walked in w/ a woman on his left hand side.

Ok, so after recognizing I was in the same room as the HOTTEST MAN ON EARTH, i went back to being in awe of the concert. They encored w/ "Burning down the house" and "Cruel" - two of my favorites.

There is NOTHING like hearing the music you jam out to live. It has even more resonance with your ears, heart, soul. Every word is pulsing through the speakers and everyone is connecting to this idea being shared in the room by the artist. 

So after the show I knew it was do or die. This was gonna be my only chance EVER to see/meet/talk whatever to Ryan Gosling. I was in high school when "The Notebook" came out.  Like any other girl, Noah Calhoun was dreamy.  I had to make this opportunity happen!

As I approached, I saw two other girls go up and do the same. They said hello and then Ryan Gosling shook his head at whatever they asked. I'm 99% positive it was a request for a photo. He shook his head w/ a hell no conviction. I knew whatever the hell I was going to say had to be short and no mention of picture!

So - i finally got closer. No other fans around him (to be fair, there were like a total of three - no one noticed he was there b/c you wouldn't see him unless you were in nearby seats....also it was dark in the crowd during the show). This was my chance!

There were three girls sitting by his right side. They were all emaciated, fashionable girls, wearing size -0 clothing of chiffon and leopard prints. They could not have been more than age 22. They all had red lips. Vogue, baby. As I got closer they began to whisper at me, shake their heads and violently scowl. They spoke just loud enough so I could hear, but he never seemed to turn to his right to notice they were talking to me. They began saying, "No, no."

I said, "oh i'm just gonna say hello." i said this in my sweetest Midwestern girl voice for fear of being cut by an LA fashionista.

"no! no! don't even think about it - he IS NOT in the mood."

As i got closer to him, the final curse came out from their hissing lips: "It's not going to work."

Looking back at the moment, what was THAT supposed to mean? I realized these young women were in a completely different expectation level. What did they mean by "It's not going to work?"
Did they think I was going to bear my chest, rip my clothes off, write my phone # on his abs? I have no idea, I just thought this empty threat was extremely odd.

ALSO: why does his entourage consist of these women? EVA MENDES - i wish you woulda been there. You're hot. and you seem nice.

Finally he turned to me, knowing i was one of "those girls." Initially he looked tired and blase and a tinge of sour. Once I said Hi, he responded with the same word. I then said, "I hope you're enjoying your time in Austin!" I said this as a RA welcoming committee would say to a pack of freshmen. It was genuine and whole-hearted. I think once he realized i wasn't asking for a picture or to make out w/ his face he was no longer perturbed. After I said that, he held out his hand, i took it and he said, "Thank you."  He seemed like a very tolerant fellow.

But let me gush a little bit more. Can I just say that man is as handsome as he is in the pictures. Which is a hellavah lot handsome. His eyes are a beautiful, crisp blue green and his tousled hair was --- just devastating. Also he was wearing all black. Another sexy detail. Ugh! such a hot man.

Source: google.com via Savannah on Pinterest

A local review of the concert here.

gig

we have a gig tonight. i will be singing my little heart out at a dive bar in Austin. Dark corners will resound with music and a humble beginning will be abounding.it's our debut, as we say on our FB page we are "we are tragically western wearing fishnets of rock."

my creative juices have been drowning me lately. i have too many ideas and not enough time to get them out onto paper. keep it coming, i just hope they can all fully grow! i wish i was this creative all the time! it's like a drug to feel this way.

#momentofgratitude

i bike everywhere and i work at a museum. and i have a gig THIS Thursday. and I'm seeing David Byrne and St. Vincent.

I LOVE MY LIFE!

THANK YOU to whoever planned this.

Source: blog.jelanieshop.com via Savannah on Pinterest

Without makeup

The IMOM who mildly crushed my soul earlier this year is now a journalist. He writes for big papers.  I was reading an article in an international publication today and realized it was by him.  How weird.

Later in the day, I was coming from the gym, sweaty and no makeup. I was on the phone with my brother. i never see the IMOM and haven't since the second breakup. yes, the little crushing of the soul bit was probably due to the second time around. which was far worse than the first. i learned my lesson, though. can a person be more than twice shy, cuz i'd say i'm like 500x shy now. lol.

anyways i saw him out of the corner of my eye -
and then proceeded veering violently left. of course all of this made it more obvious, so i kept walking. he tried to sweep up to me on his bike,.but then saw that i was blatantly ignoring his existence HARDCORE MODE and then backuped up and zoomed down the street.

as i rode my bike home i thought "damnnit! i wasn't even hot looking."

but then i realized i was exactly as "i am"in that moment. i was no makeup, sweaty me.  and i don't think i ever was without makeup when we dated. i always wanted to look my best.  i also never shared ANY real secrets, shame, or desires with him. We never really knew each other that intimately  Neither of us would crack so we never took the plunge, never got cold or sore or vulnerable. As i've gotten older i've realized you can love many, but there are only a few lovers you'll actually ever be truly intimate with. and those are the ones that matter. those are the ones that make your heart pound with delight and make you feel like a better person. And i've had that beautiful situation happen before, but the IMOM was never one of them.

So i guess what i'm saying is that it was fitting that he finally saw me: stripped, no makeup, just me. he finally got a chance to see THE REAL ME, the one i never wanted to show him, the one he never wanted to truly see or know. whoever he knew before doesn't exist anymore.

Source: cameraobscura.skynetblogs.be via Savannah on Pinterest