Sunday, June 30, 2013

how many have you done?

25 Things To Do Before You Turn 25
1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.
2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward. EVERY WEEKEND.
3. Minimize your passivity.
4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.
5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.
6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.
7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.
8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet. 
9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender. OH GOD. SO DANGEROUS.
10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you. EVERY WEEKEND. BUT ONLY THE FIRST PHRASE, NOT THE "BE W/ YOU" ONE. 
11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.
12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.
13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to. WHAT HOBBY IS ONE YOU DO ALONE? LIKE READING? PAINTING, WRITING? I ALREADY DO THOSE BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST CALLED "BEING CREATIVE." WHATEVS. 
14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you. ??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT ONE. DOES THAT IMPLY YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE? CUZ THAT IS SOME UNDER 25 SOMETHING SHIT RIGHT THERE, FO' REAL. 
15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be. I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE. I LIKE MY PRIORITIES. IS THAT A BAD THING?
16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane. I FEEL LIKE THIS IS BEYOND 25 YEAR OLD ADVICE AS WELL
17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.
18. Stop hating yourself.
19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.
20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.
21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.
22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first. HAVEN'T DONE THIS YET. MAY NEVER. 
23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it. STUDIED ABROAD. NOT THE SAME. 
24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro. I HAVE TO DO THIS ONE.
25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open. AGAIN I FEEL THIS ONE GOES BEYOND 25.




it's a Wednesday night baby and i'm alive.

How i want to decorate my new apartment

I can see the National Cathedral from my kitchen window.
The street below my balcony is lined with lampposts and people going somewhere to someone.
i have a rooftop where i plan to have a large cup of coffee on weekend mornings while reading the paper or a good book. if it is too late for coffee i intend to sit out in my polka-dot bikini while licking my homemade cilantro and pineapple popsicles.
recipe here: http://www.blendtec.com/recipes/pineapple_cilantro_ice_pops

Pineapple cilantrio pops!



and now i have to decorate my room like this:


fun, colorful bedroom

wow this chair is the business.


Bohemian bedroom

*{ I love this description}*I remember the fresh smell of an open window when on the farm outside by the garden. The sheets were so clean and fresh! And the breeze as it passed through the open window and kissed my face awake on those summer mornings in 66.



living and siesta

several romantic boho chic spaces here - maybe recreate for Valentine's day

yes, i want a hammock and a mosquito net....and lots of flowers or at least fake ones in tin boxes. and a flea market furniture piece i can spray paint turquoise.

and the drinks will be served in these:

watermellon margarita!



i am soooooooooooo freakinggggggggg excited.





Thursday, June 27, 2013

DICEY.

i surprised myself last night. i didn't think i'd ACTUALLY do it. I just fantasized about it.

i went to a rogue photo journalist lecture and met my ridiculous crush. it was then or NEVER so i got the gumption and with a small push from my friend, E, i waltzed over......like i was going to vote for my favorite candidate or something and make a difference in the justice system. all business.

my intro line was probably the most awkward, worst, unsuave, creepy thing you could have ever said to someone.

"hi, do you remember me?" i may not even had said the "hi" part.
so wrong. or so right?

 

"..............yes. you're from the [old place of employment] and you had really short hair then."

"yah! i did. [overly excited reaction b/c his statement proved he knew who the fuck i was.]

"well i moved here from [city i used to live in] b/c i got a new job as [new job title] and I decided to come this thing tonight." wtffffff derp derp babble. his reaction:


 


"yah. well do you have my email?"

"uhhhmmm, no,"

he reaches into his jacket to get his phone out and give me his email.

"umm unless it's on your professional website or something?"

"ya. it's on there. email me and we'll get a beer sometime. cuz i live here in D.C."

"oh...yeah....alright."

he awkwardly runs from me and i so the same.

i have no idea if this was a victory or a fail. i guess victory since he kept his freaked-out-ness somewhat at bay and suggested beers. People who are freaked out by you don't offer you beer time, or do they?


 



i'm shelving this recent advancement in this hot man pursuit. i think i'll email him in a week or so for beers. he will most likely not answer or feign illness, relocation, out-of-country-for-job-six-months situation.  The reason i'm soooo not going to have high expectations for this one is due to this crush being WAY out of my league. and WAY older. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i think if you aren't embarrassing yourself at least once a week you aren't truly living. and i can say with full confidence I'm quite dicey right now. ;)

We'll have to now give him an acronym, like all the other have gotten.

As a refresher here is what they are:

HTSP = hot tempered spanish painter
IMOM = international man of mystery

and the new one will be,
RPJ = rogue photo journalist



brandy alexander

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

woman of heart and mind

I am a woman of heart and mind
With time on her hands
No child to raise


You come to me like a little boy
And I give you my scorn and my praise


You think I'm like your mother
Or another lover or
your sister
Or the queen of your dreams



Or just another silly girl
When love makes a fool of me


After the rush when you come back down
You're always disappointed
Nothing seems to keep you high
Drive your bargains
Push your papers
Win your medals
Fuck your strangers
Don't it leave you on the empty side




I'm looking for affection and respect
A little passion


And you want stimulation-nothing more
That's what I think
But you know I'll try to be there for you
When your spirits start to sink


All this talk about holiness now
It must be the start of the latest style
Is it all books and words
Or do you really feel it?
Do you really laugh?
Do you really care?
Do you really smile
When you smile?


You criticize and you flatter
You imitate the best
And the rest you memorize
You know the times you impress me most
Are the times when you don't try




When you don't even try

if i had an orchard

I was raised up believing I was somehow unique
Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see
And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be
A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me

But I don't, I don't know what that will be
I'll get back to you someday soon you will see




If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm raw
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore
And you would wait tables and soon run the store








Gold hair in the sunlight, my light in the dawn
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore
If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore