No Sex, No Trouble?

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With the recent explosion in the tabloid world over Kristen Stewart "cheating" on her boyfriend, Robert Pattinson w/ her Director Rupert Sanders, I am led to question if "no sex is still cheating".  

I highly doubt Sanders and his wife, model Liberty Ross will call it quits over this.  If they do, it will be a culmination of this, not ONLY this incident.

I feel bad for Kristen Stewart in a way.  She's only 22.  Shit happens. You drunkenly kiss (and more) a whole lotta people when you are in your 20s.  Maybe the reason this is such a big deal is b/c of who she is and that there were cameras there?

No, she shouldn't have done it, but is it that big of a deal if there was no sex?

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I feel like our American culture is so stuck in the puritanical obsession over sex, that cheating has been blown out of proportion.  Will one drunken kiss TRULY ruin the years you've been together? I don't think so. If you have that much of a TRUE love for one another I don't think a makeout w/ another person would jeopardize that.  I think sex is a different story.  Not only is it unfaithful, but it can also put the other person in physical harm of getting some sort of jenky-ass disease.

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But if two people were forgiven for small infidelities, wouldn't more marriages survive?  If you had confidence in your relationship, who cares if it means nothing? You are human.  Maybe if a kiss happened once in awhile, the divorce would never happen. Otherwise, what if all this sexual build-up  explodes and you end of sleeping with another person? Wouldn't you rather your spouse have a kiss than sex with a stranger? No one wants any infidelity, but if you had to choose ....

I don't know.  I think people just need to recognize that sexuality is much more complex than yes or no, do or don't.  Are we even meant to have one lover for more than 20 years????

A kiss is just a kiss, right?

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my heart of silk

My heart of silk
is filled with lights,
with lost bells,
with lilies and bees.
I will go very far,
farther than those hills,
farther than the seas,
close to the stars,
to beg Christ the Lord
to give back the soul I had
of old, when I was a child,
ripened with legends,
with a feathered cap
and a wooden sword.

Federico Garcia Lorca

A heady wine ...

“There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.”
—     Colette 

A Slice of the Single Life.

My most recent dalliance is an artist.  He may be one of the hottest men to have ever walked into my life.  He is tall dark and handsome. but - like most artists, his first love is his art and he has no time for kisses!  I hate to be upstaged, so I'm predicting: the usual -
as depicted in the SERIES finale of Sex & the City.........

I went to a dinner party recently where i was the 7th WHEEL. not 5th wheel, but 7th WHEEL.


When I'm in this particular scenario, the conversation starts good.  Then it generally dwindles down to current events, politics....then when there is a lull, the spotlight is turned on me. 
"Who are you seeing right now?" "Been on any dates lately?" 
Then i tell a salacious/juicy/embarrassing story about a recent tryst. It's kind of like being a Jester in a court room. 


Near the end of the story - someone tells me, "I know a guy," "We have a friend ....".
At this point my muscles tense up and i lean forward. "Really, who" - i humor them.  At first I do feel a general amount of excitement because i figure, "what the hell, maybe they're HAWT," but then as the description begins i am disappointed.  I don't want to hear these words when you describe your single, available friends:

• cute
• shy
• athletic
• smart
• home-body

 In my judgmental brain these words translate to:

• cute = anywhere from average to fugly.
• shy = boring 
• athletic = narcissistic
• smart = nerdy, overly cerebral, or pretentious - pick one.
• home-body = a shut-in

Describe your friends to me as if you were a top PR agent promoting your latest actor/actress client - give me tag words:

• Hot (or if you feel confident "Dashing", "Dapper")
• Adventurous
• Creative
• Intelligent
• Incredible body

OBVIOUSLY, when describing, have the same sex do it (have the man describe a man, woman describe woman) and the opposite member of sex in the couple nod at the appropriate, affirming moments.  This way, a male in the couple will not be verbally beaten by the woman upon getting into their Prius on the way home. 

I don't want stable qualities described to me - i want wild, sexy turn-ons promised to me!!! I'm not looking for what the domesticated couple needs, I'm looking for what the 20 something woman needs, people (ie: good sex, dancing, and excitement)!!! 


And though it may seem I am complaining, I would never trade my WHEEL status for another seat at the dinner table. I've been there before. I feel most connected to my true self when I am not attached.  


When I'm a 7th, 9th, or  - GOD FORBID! - 11th wheel, it may look like this from the outside:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qi5uDbwCWh4&feature=related

 but on the inside, i feel like this:

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I'M HOLDING OUT to maintain my happiness, sanity, and freedom or FOR THE HTSP. whatever comes first.

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