DIG A PONY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKhH2xKy60c

ALL I WANT IS YOU. EVERYTHING HAS GOT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU WANT IT TO. BECAUSE .....

dreams and last days

prose excerpt: " i have to say, i find you irresistible and that's why I'm risking so much.what do want? i've never done this before." In my hammock swinging, fireflies gathered 'round. Pizza. Gelato. James Bond sex scenes. The one with the shark pit. Don't get thrown in. Too late.

This weekend was a Dottie West tale.

And Van Morrison is still present for all my major life moments. His music makes me nostalgic for things that haven't happened to me yet. 

"We were born before the wind

Also younger than the sun

Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And together we will float into the mystic"

the song is you.

i had a Jim & Pam from The Office sort of evening.

me and my work crush (WC) confessed our mutual crushes for each other in the park. this is a year long story....

it was pretty much the most romantic thing i've done in awhile.


 

we talked about all the times during the past year we wanted to tell each other but couldn't. we talked about all the times we had company parties and i would look across the room for him and he would already be staring.  and then we'd smile and that was it.

i'm glad it happened before i left.

and now i feel all romantical.................


"Down deep in my heart, I hear it say,
Is this the day?

I alone have heard this lovely strain,
I alone have heard this glad refrain:
Must it be forever inside of me,
Why can't I let it go,
Why can't I let you know,
Why can't I let you know the song
My heart would sing?

That beautiful rhapsody
Of love and youth and spring,
The music is sweet,
The words are true -
The song is you."

prospects

even though i've sworn off men,
i'm going to pursue the following in DC:

• brooding photo journalists
• brooding journalists
• foreign anything. preferably: latin, spanish, irish, scottish, must speak in the accent of "hot"
• political zealot (non-right wing)
• congressman
• senator (married would be more scandalous)
• investment banker

I will update you on my progress.....
 

I AM A LIBRARIAN!!!! ----- gifs from the Mummy

Stealing Beauty Soundtrack

1. "2 Wicky" (Burt Bacharach) by Hooverphonic
2. "Glory Box" (Geoff Barrow) by Portishead
3. "If 6 Was 9" (Jimi Hendrix) by Axiom Funk
4. "Annie Mae" by John Lee Hooker
5. "Rocket Boy" by Liz Phair
6. "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder
7. "My Baby Just Cares For Me" (Walter Donaldson) by Nina Simone
8. "I'll Be Seeing You" (Sammy Fain) by Billie Holiday
9. "Rhymes Of An Hour" (Hope Sandoval) by Mazzy Star
10. "Alice" by Cocteau Twins
11. "You Won't Fall" by Lori Carson
12. "I Need Love" by Sam Phillips
13. "Say It Ain't So" by Roland Gift

Hole's song "Olympia" (AKA 'Rockstar') was also used in the film. Tyler is shown dancing and singing wildly along to the track, listening with her headphones and walkman.

Quotes from The Daily Love 5/23/13

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You're playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson, is a best-selling author, lecturer and founder of The Peace Alliance, a grass roots campaign supporting legislation currently before Congress to establish a United States Department of Peace.

 

"If God said, 'Rumi pay homage to everything that has helped you enter my arms,' there would not be one experience of my life, not one thought, not one feeling, nor any act, I would not bow to."

- Rumi, page 68 from Love Poems from God. Rumi was a 13th Century Sufi Mystic.

out of africa, english patient

 http://thehairpin.com/2013/05/scandals-of-classic-hollywood-robert-redford-golden-boy/

 

"I first saw this film when I was in early high school and totally obsessed with a love that gives and takes — you know, the anguish of liking a guy, he kinda shows that he likes you, he retreats, rinse and repeat. I was also in a deep love affair with the book and filmic version of The English Patient (“The heart is an organ of fire” asdf;kjasd;flkjasd;lkfja;sdjlf), so Out of Africa only doubled my obsession with texts centered on strong women and iconoclastic men. Set approximately 80 years ago. In Africa. The love in both of these texts is a very adult sort of love, but the way it makes me feel is pure 16-year-old. Those are the movies you return to again and again, to better remember the curves of rapture."

Quotes from The Daily Love

"Come live in my heart and pay no rent."

- Samuel Lover, was an Irish songwriter, novelist and painter.

"Surrender is faith that the power of Love can accomplish anything even when you cannot forsee the outcome."

- Deepak Chopra, bestselling author and speaker.

"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater."

- Nicholas Evans, from his bestselling novel The Horse Whisperer.

Nothing By James Fenton

saw this poem the other day.  wanted to share.


Nothing
By James Fenton


I take a jewel from a junk shop tray
And wish I had a love to buy it for.
Nothing I choose will make you turn my way.
Nothing I give will make you love me more.

I know that I've embarrassed you too long
And I'm ashamed to linger at your door.
Whatever I embark on will be wrong.
Nothing I do will make you love me more.

I cannot work. I cannot read or write.
How can I frame a letter to implore?
Eloquence is a lie. The truth is trite.
Nothing I say will make you love me more.

So I replace the jewel in the tray
And laughingly pretend I'm far too poor.
Nothing I give, nothing I do or say,
Nothing I am will make you love me more.

The Good Old Days

Andy from the Office said on the Finale episode:

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days, before you've actually left them."




http://www.hulu.com/watch/491195

Also my favorite moment from the Office:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFRe7mEEdaM

Take it, Easy Tiger...

I went to see my musician friend Ben Balmer. He's one of my favorite local musicians. He plays every Thursday at Easy Tiger. My favorite Beer Garden/Bakery.

Chocolate croissants upstairs Ommegang Rare Vos and Beer Cheese down the stairs in the open air garden. Love it! Def gonna miss that place.  Last night I savored every sip and moment.

I sat next to this awesome brother/sister duo, and the brother lives in DC!! So we exchanged numbers and i hope to be a member on his pub trivia team! He's a married investment banker. HOPE I MEET HIS MALE FRIENDS.:) But of course besides that, having a friend or two in DC already has made me excited to move.

When i moved to Texas three years ago I did not know A SOUL here. And now I have 30 of my closest friends coming to my going away party next week. It's crazy how life provides you with beautiful experiences; people, places, lessons learned.

I was tip girl for Ben and got him more money so naturally after the set he bought me a big glass of Founder's Dirty Bastard beer.

Then i drunkenly kissed people, got on my bike, and left. 

CHEERS, Austin!!!

Austin

the drinks and people
were blurry
and i
loved.
each one. 

Stay-At-Home-Dads

This latest NPR story is about Stay-At-Home-Dads.

 http://www.npr.org/2013/05/15/180300236/stay-at-home-dads-breadwinner-moms-and-making-it-all-work

My Mom was a Stay-At-Home-Mom and I feel like I really benefited from the love, attention, and care we got growing up.

BUT I would LOVE to be with a man who would want to be a Stay-At-Home-Dad.  I think it's great how this is becoming the "new normal" for American society.

babies are dangerous ...

everyone from back home says they "live in Detroit." but they live in Royal Oak or Ferndale. Not many in Detroit. Maybe a third of who says it. Lame.

My FB page continues to explode with babies. One person in particular who is my age had a baby. Her baby looks like the dad. And that's not a good thing.

What if i have a baby and they look like my manly husband - only they are a girl?
What if i have a husband who is sexy to me but has a large nose or other random facial feature and then our baby doesn't pull it off as well as him?
Weird.
Obviously if the babies i have look like me it will all be ok. ;)
just sayin'....

Having a long term relationship and/or babies still freaks me out and i don't see how that could change. Does time wear you down and you change your mind? Do you get a sudden sense of mortality and freak and want to have a "legacy" that lives and breathes? Do you get bored? Do you simply want to see the product of you and your partner and what they would look like, who they would be?

I mean you have to be somewhat brave to do it. It's the ultimate gamble. You don't know what you're going to get and you will have to be responsible for it the rest of your life even if it hates you. even if it's an addict. even if it blames you for everything. That's ballsy.

Probably the only good thing about babies are that they are a true sign that Love is in the world and everyday it is happening all around us, all the time, in all different forms.

things i will miss about Austin, Texas

Don't judge the order. i really do like my friend more than breakfast tacos, i swear.

1. breakfast tacos
2. my friends 
3. rainey street, east side bars - as much as i complain about them
4. soco shopping
5. MY BAND AND SINGING BEAUTIFUL SONGS IN BARS IN AUSTIN
6. drinkwell
7. tigress
8. GEEKS WHO DRINK - 'specially when we come in a top 5 slot
9. swimming at barton springs and deep eddy and marvelling at Hamilton Pool
10. riding my dashing red bike in the city
11. margaritas
12. REAL BBQ
13. beer-garitas
14. lonestar beer
15. PEDICABS and PEDICABBERS
16. swimming with no clothes on in apartment complex pools, drunk at 4am, coming home from the bar - it's more satifying in July/Aug when it is 100-115 degrees outside
17. dancing with my girlfriends
18. THE CONTINENTAL CLUB
19. flirting with hawt hipster boys that ride motorcycles
20. RANDOM-ASS WEIRD SHIT THAT HAPPENS HERE THAT ONE CAN'T EXPLAIN UNTIL YOU LIVE HERE: ie: Leslie, Drag Rats, The guy who rides in Hyde Park wearing only a thong, Bridge/Cave shows, The 1M bus, Yard-Goats, The Quarry, Polly Mermaid (theplasticmermaid.com), Eeyore's birthday, the bat bridge 
21. the alamo drafthouse 
22. riding on my bike at night, through a veil of humidity, to be greeted by magnolia scents filling my lungs
23. MOONTOWERS. so pretty at night.
24. The bats that fly around the Steeple in Hyde Park at night. 
25. WARREN HOOD AND THE GOODS.
26. walking past sunflowers on the sidewalk near my house
27. QUACKS - chocolate croissants 
28. DOLCE VITA - gelato
29. EAST SIDE KINGS - ka-ra-age
30. my house
31. sipping beer on my hammock, listening to motown music
32. MY WORKPLACE. actually serious on that one.
33. mad dog margaritas at Texas Chili Parlor (yes they're not just from the song)- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQGjkBuMGAU
34. food trucks, specifically, Chilantros
35. LAYING OUT
36. good food that takes local Texas food and dresses it up: barley swine
37. Getting food comp'ed at Perlas and Clark's :)
38. The UT Tower
39. UT "hook 'em" Pride
40. Texas Pride

when you're leaving

all the boys want to kiss when you're leaving.

my nearly one year long unrequited work crush has asked me on a lunch date.

the douchebag artist/guitarist has returned from a 10 day tour of Italy. He is now a regular Romeo. And he says don't leave and "what?!" and "why are you going?" - but he obviously doesn't know me too well. Since all those answers were rather apparent in these past few months of job searching.

i'm not moving solely for the job. that's a BIG reason. But i fell in love with D.C. the summer i lived there in 2011 and i've always thought going back would be a great thing to do. It's the culture i love. the international feel. The accents and food and colored row houses. DC has the city life without the harshness of New York. DC is as nice as Chicago but it's warmer. And where else would i find my International Man of Mystery????? ;)

The hot bartender from Butterfly Bar asked if i would come back to the bar before i leave, i said yes. then he said i should have a going away party so he could come. And of course i told him when and where. my band's been playing at that bar since September. we always flirted but never did anything about it.

all the boys want to kiss when you're leaving. 

My new home