With the recent explosion in the tabloid world over Kristen Stewart "cheating" on her boyfriend, Robert Pattinson w/ her Director Rupert Sanders, I am led to question if "no sex is still cheating".
I highly doubt Sanders and his wife, model Liberty Ross will call it quits over this. If they do, it will be a culmination of this, not ONLY this incident.
I feel bad for Kristen Stewart in a way. She's only 22. Shit happens. You drunkenly kiss (and more) a whole lotta people when you are in your 20s. Maybe the reason this is such a big deal is b/c of who she is and that there were cameras there?
No, she shouldn't have done it, but is it that big of a deal if there was no sex?
I feel like our American culture is so stuck in the puritanical obsession over sex, that cheating has been blown out of proportion. Will one drunken kiss TRULY ruin the years you've been together? I don't think so. If you have that much of a TRUE love for one another I don't think a makeout w/ another person would jeopardize that. I think sex is a different story. Not only is it unfaithful, but it can also put the other person in physical harm of getting some sort of jenky-ass disease.
But if two people were forgiven for small infidelities, wouldn't more marriages survive? If you had confidence in your relationship, who cares if it means nothing? You are human. Maybe if a kiss happened once in awhile, the divorce would never happen. Otherwise, what if all this sexual build-up explodes and you end of sleeping with another person? Wouldn't you rather your spouse have a kiss than sex with a stranger? No one wants any infidelity, but if you had to choose ....
I don't know. I think people just need to recognize that sexuality is much more complex than yes or no, do or don't. Are we even meant to have one lover for more than 20 years????
A kiss is just a kiss, right?
'A kiss is just a kiss' is the dumbest excuse I've ever heard. I think I heard it in a 50 Cent song, even*. If it's such a petty thing then it shouldn't be that hard NOT to kiss them. I think if you're ashamed of what you did then you know it was wrong; and if you're NOT ashamed and that's what you truly want then going behind your partner's back is just immature. One solution would be to try and talk about the possibility of having a sexually open relationship. Some people are in sexually open relationships, some people have a rule of being completely honest with each other, and some people are polyamorous and fall in love with as many people as they want.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, cheating means different things to different people, as all relationships are different. Some people call it cheating when their partner develops an emotional bond with someone else, it doesn't have to be something physical. I guess each couple draws that line differently.
And no, there's no shame in wanting to stay in a loving relationship if you were cheated on, but there's no shame in throwing everything down the drain, either. You make a promise to someone else under certain circumstances ("I'll be with you forever as I expect to always have romantic feelings for you"), if those circumstances change then I don't see why the status of that couple shouldn't change. Divorce is a valid option: "I've fallen out of love and this promise no longer stands". I mean, the cheating is just a manifestation of your feelings in general, of how you think your needs should be met and also where you draw the line between what's good for you, what's good for your relationship and what's good for your partner.
The problem too often seems to be miscommunication. No-one tells the other where their priorities are because it's hurtful to say "my needs are more important than the needs of this couple".
It's not so much "you shouldn't cheat" as "your partner should be able to trust you", I mean, just be open with each other. Talk about the possibility of sometimes being physically involved with other people, or of having a girlfriend/boyfriend outside of your current marriage; and also set up some ground rules. And if it damages your relationship then rethink it, rebuild it. Meet halfway or choose different paths.
*it goes:
If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see
And when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me
Would you believe me? Or up and leave me?
How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone?