First, suffering drags you deeper into yourself.

Instead of recoiling from the sorts of loving commitments that almost always involve suffering, they throw themselves more deeply into them. Even while experiencing the worst and most lacerating consequences, some people double down on vulnerability. They hurl themselves deeper and gratefully into their art, loved ones and commitments.


http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/08/opinion/brooks-what-suffering-does.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss&_r=1

 a well written perspective on the experience of suffering.