It's not fun to be single at 41. I was married for ten years. I'm divorced, I've got two children. It's hard to start again after a marriage. It's hard to really, like, look at somebody and go "Hey, maybe something nice will happen."
You just don't.
I know too much about life to have any optimism because I know even if it's nice it's going to lead to shit. I know that if you smile at somebody and they smile back, you've just decided that something shitty is going to happen.
You might have a nice couple of dates, but then she'll stop calling you back and that'll feel shitty.
Or, you'll date for a long time and then she'll have sex with one of your friends, or you will with one of hers, and that'll be shitty.
Or, you'll get married and it won't work out, and you'll get divorced and split your friends and money, and that's horrible.
Or, you'll meet the perfect person who you love infinitely, and you even argue well, and you grow together, and you have children, and then you get old together. And then she's gonna' die.
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