Can't we be friends?

I went to trivia for a organization I volunteer for. After the game was over i beckoned a hot man w/ a beard over to my table. The third beer had given me this confidence. I chatted him up and then said,

"You're cute, are you single?"
He replied with a laugh, "Um ... my fiance is standing at the table behind me." (and she wasn't attractive, OF COURSE.)

I replied, "Oh shit now, i'm going to be fodder for the car ride home. This is a fail."

He then told me to become a Hasher. There, i would find men. Hmmm. 

As i run last night i couldn't help but laugh at this conversation, followed by my embarrassment. 

After that rejection, I bounced back with a second wind and dragged my trivia mate to karaoke. He tried to drunkenly kiss me after sharing his rendition of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire." I do not see him in that way and he has a girlfriend. I had hoped we could be friends, but I guess not. Sometimes I think men are dogs in the truest sense.

It sucks cuz I really like hanging out w/ him. But, I've been in this space before and I am wise now. You can't will someone to be your friend. So I must drop him. Well, at least only hang out w/ him in group settings. Not drunk.

The Hot Spanish Man aka, the Unicorn (he is hot, employed and single, making him a Unicorn among men in this city) has not asked me out, although he assured me on the 13th he'd get back to me when he got back into town .... which was a week ago. BLAH. I think he wants a Spanish woman.

I debated on texting or calling him, but fuck it. I waver between taking initiative and not. I think in this new age of dating i need to take more initiative b/c men are:

1. lamer than they were before
2. scared of a strong woman
3. scared of rejection
4. in DC they have their choices, more women than men here; most of which are intelligent and accomplished. Hot, no so much, but to each his own. 

The reasons i do not want to take initiative are:

1. I want a man who is not afraid of asking for what he wants
2. I want a man with a backbone, confidence
3. I want to know, without a doubt, that he is interested in me. When i ask men out, I'm never quite sure of that. But when they ask me out, I'm aware that at least their first impression of me is something they want to know more deeply.
4. I am worth a fucking phone call or text for a date!!!

 So I'll waver and figure it out on a case by case basis. But I def think I will keep asking men i think are cute if they are single after flirting for awhile. As my roommate said, "If you keep on asking one of them will be."