It was a wonderful weekend.
Friday night I ate dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant in Georgetown. All the pasta was handmade! All the food melted in your mouth. It is so nice to eat good food with friends. We went out to a bar after and met boys and one have me his number. He is cute and not an old man.
Saturday I volunteered, then went to brunch at a hipster Swedish place w/ my Mom and Aunt. Again the food was sooooo tasty. The company and locale were the same.
Saturday nite, I worked. At one point I had two parties walk in at THE SAME TIME WITH 14 people!!!!! Oh and a bunch of couples!!!
I somehow made it thru and came out with a shit ton of tips.
After work went to a dive bar with coworkers, then we WENT DANCING at the bar across the street. The bar has "SOUL NIGHTS" once a month and it is so much fun to dance to soul music. I got very drunk then went home. I have a crush on one of my coworkers. So cute. And a good dancer :)
Yesterday I had beers with friends outside then dinner with my mom at a great French bistro!
I am still drunk texting MMJC. We are still seducing each other in his bed. We have a don't ask don't tell policy about outside party members. If I knew about the girls he was seeing I'd go crazy jealous and dump him. So I prefer to not know. I'm not innocent either.
I would like a boyfriend. Just have not felt that way about anyone I've dated. I like dating many boys at one time.
The last I heard from RPJ was April 10th. And it will remain so. I've made no effort to contact, reach out. I am SO much happier when he is not in my life. All he likes to do is create drama and mind fuck me. How sad it is that some people get such joy from taking advantage and treating others with no sense of consequence or care of causing pain. But as I once heard, "hurt people hurt people."
In the past when he contacted me (he eventually always does) I would answer. When he does next time there will be no response from me. There is nothing left to say. I have given him all the words, dreams, kisses and tears I had to offer. It is a relief when the love you had for someone is replaced with a sort of hollow, empty feeling when you think of them. There is just an absence of love. An almost vague blah feeling, like when you wake up from a hangover. But then a relief sets in; like you were in a boxing ring and the fight is over.
Where as, when I see my crush from work I feel excited and happy and ready to dance to soul music.
Feelings are so helpful. If you make a conscious effort to listen and connect with them, they will help you make choices that are authentic to your true wants and needs. Everything I've ignored my gut I've gotten kicked in the ass by fate.
I am very happy in life right now and have no complaints. I theorize that I am happy right now bc the waiting job has taken the financial stress out of my life. I no longer need to worry about my bills. I feel free and independent in this.
Another reason for my happiness is my role in my community. I LOVE volunteering in my hood and I like my co workers at the restaurant. I feel like I know so many people in the hood. I feel connected to my neighbors and people in my little corner of the world. It is great to feel a part of something you love.
I am healthy. I have wonderful friends. And crushes ;) and boys I kiss.
So I have no room for complaints right now. I am relishing in life until the INEVITABLE tide will turn and I'll be bitching again here on the blog. BUT UNTIL THEN, let's enjoy it!!!!
SIDENOTE: I have become obsessed with old Hollywood and want to stay one night at the chateau marmont. If I could get a PHD I'd get it in Hollywood history :) Reading about old Hollywood and it's stars and watch old movies like RED DUST, all about eve, sunset blvd.
movies were SO MUCH better back then. The dialogue and story lines are richer.
