Saturday, January 5, 2013

Weekly update, thoughts of late

I am performing tonight at an Austin landmark, The Hole in the Wall.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. We debuting two news songs and I hope I sing them well.  If you can feel a personal connection to the song you're singing, you sing it better - like in any art (acting, painting, photography) I think it helps if you can hook onto an emotion.

There is a question though about getting so much in a role that you disappear into it.  I think it's a good and bad thing. I think I would never be a good actress because I would lose a little bit of myself in each role and then not know who I really was.  Also, as an actress it seems you are always "pseudo-living" adventures.  For instance, in Eat, Pray, Love Julia Roberts plays a woman who has an introspective, international reawakening enlightenment. But does the actress really have the same experience? I don't know. Isn't do something "for real" better than acting it? Unless of course you adhere that acting is "to be" in every sense of the word. Like Daniel Day Lewis.

I've handed in my poetry and am wishing, hoping, praying SOMEONE likes it. I think I may submit to more places today, just in case no one does. My first attempt was in May of 2012 and I got no bites. I tried again in August and no luck again.  Granted the stuff I submitted was probably shitty, so I'm hoping it's gotten much better.  I think it has, when I read what I was writing in May and what I am writing now.

Over the break I started aggressively applying for jobs.  I'm so impatient. I wish someone would just tell me what the outcome is. Also, I want to stay in Austin, but the jobs are slim and I need a better paying gig. The loan lenders are a-knocking on my door, y'all. I'm open to living anywhere at this point. Although I'd like a city atmosphere best.

I want to move to Hong Kong or Dublin and get a job. That would be fun, wouldn't it.  Or I'd like to be a sexy spy like James Bond. I could be Vesper, just not die in the end of the movie, but instead live the rest of my life w/ James in a Tuscan villa. ...... I'm really good at dreaming. 

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