In the recent days, I've noticed many posts on my facebook relate to weddings and babies. and that's all fine. There are different stages we go through in our life and when we are happy about those stages we want to celebrate and share them with others.
My issues with this is when it becomes a carefully curated thing, losing all genuineness and sincerity - it's more about what others see than what you see or how you feel about it [loving relationships]. Because in the scenarios I'm about to mention, you're seeking approval from the world, not your own self or your partner.
I've been seeing a new trend in wedding videography where people HAVE TRAILERS for their wedding video. What is this? Besides your family and close friends who will be buying this? What is the purpose of sharing intimate moments ("first look", walk down the aisle, notes from each other, vows) to every person on the internet, including people who do not know you?
I feel like weddings and private celebrations have become sick opportunities to "out-do" your peers, show-off. Prove or perhaps create a life you don't actually lead. What does it matter what strangers think of your private life?
What happened to proposals being a private affair between two people who are madly in love? I know see proposal videos everywhere - extravagant, choreographed flash mobs??? What has society become. Nothing is sacred I guess. We are not celebrities. We are not significant public figures. We are people living our lives.
Another thing I've seen is posts about newlyweds cooking for their husbands - IN PICTURES WITH APRONS ON. I understand your excitement. But you have been raised in a post-Women's movement generation. You're essentially back-pedaling when you post patriarchal, old school photos of you "cookin' for your man." It's great you are a loving partner. But where are his pictures of himself in AN APRON COOKING FOR YOU? or does he just sit and watch football and drink beers while you slave in the kitchen? BECAUSE IF SO, THAT'S BULLSHIT. You love your husband and your life - but why not show that in a non-misogynistic way? Gardening together, out together? These things put you on even levels not in a demeaning, old-school social realm that needs to die off. You are re-enforcing a very bad stereotype.
Or perhaps, if you do get joy out of that why do you want to show that on FB? Why would others who are not you or your husband care or be happy about that happening? If you do that does that mean you have a perfect marriage and are a "good" partner?
I guess if it is important for you for people to know every moment in your life and approve of the way you live your life, that's fine. Whatever floats your boat. I just think the constant commodification of love is really disgusting to me as an outsider and I feel it takes away a lot of the private mysteries you share as a couple.
It seems with my generation everyone needs to know everything about you and "if there are no pictures it didn't happen."
I think that is a horrible way to live one's life. It also feeds into some sort of self-entitlement or ego problem you need to get rid of. The ego can be a very ugly, ugly thing if fed too often.
My issues with this is when it becomes a carefully curated thing, losing all genuineness and sincerity - it's more about what others see than what you see or how you feel about it [loving relationships]. Because in the scenarios I'm about to mention, you're seeking approval from the world, not your own self or your partner.
I've been seeing a new trend in wedding videography where people HAVE TRAILERS for their wedding video. What is this? Besides your family and close friends who will be buying this? What is the purpose of sharing intimate moments ("first look", walk down the aisle, notes from each other, vows) to every person on the internet, including people who do not know you?
I feel like weddings and private celebrations have become sick opportunities to "out-do" your peers, show-off. Prove or perhaps create a life you don't actually lead. What does it matter what strangers think of your private life?
What happened to proposals being a private affair between two people who are madly in love? I know see proposal videos everywhere - extravagant, choreographed flash mobs??? What has society become. Nothing is sacred I guess. We are not celebrities. We are not significant public figures. We are people living our lives.
Another thing I've seen is posts about newlyweds cooking for their husbands - IN PICTURES WITH APRONS ON. I understand your excitement. But you have been raised in a post-Women's movement generation. You're essentially back-pedaling when you post patriarchal, old school photos of you "cookin' for your man." It's great you are a loving partner. But where are his pictures of himself in AN APRON COOKING FOR YOU? or does he just sit and watch football and drink beers while you slave in the kitchen? BECAUSE IF SO, THAT'S BULLSHIT. You love your husband and your life - but why not show that in a non-misogynistic way? Gardening together, out together? These things put you on even levels not in a demeaning, old-school social realm that needs to die off. You are re-enforcing a very bad stereotype.
Or perhaps, if you do get joy out of that why do you want to show that on FB? Why would others who are not you or your husband care or be happy about that happening? If you do that does that mean you have a perfect marriage and are a "good" partner?
I guess if it is important for you for people to know every moment in your life and approve of the way you live your life, that's fine. Whatever floats your boat. I just think the constant commodification of love is really disgusting to me as an outsider and I feel it takes away a lot of the private mysteries you share as a couple.
It seems with my generation everyone needs to know everything about you and "if there are no pictures it didn't happen."
I think that is a horrible way to live one's life. It also feeds into some sort of self-entitlement or ego problem you need to get rid of. The ego can be a very ugly, ugly thing if fed too often.
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