Over the past few days I've realized I do not want motherhood to be my legacy.
I want to have a kickass career, and let my writing be my legacy.
I guess it would be nice if I ever became a mother, that I was a good one. But that idea does not sound the least bit fulfilling to me. I got to thinking about it the other day and realized I'd rather be known for my work than a child. At this point in my life, I'd rather marry myself to my career and/or artistic pursuits.
It seems that marriage and babies have become some sort of achievement in my age group. But from my perspective, it doesn't take much to do those things. The "nobility" is more in the longevity of it, the commitment to it. It doesn't take much to get married, it's staying married. It doesn't take much to get pregnant, it takes a lot to be a good parent. So i guess i just don't get why people have these as checklist items, goals for their life. They seem like bigger ideas than simply goals.
I also feel like i see people getting married or having babies b/c they no longer feel they have any dreams to fulfill, or they do not know their purpose so they revert to being consumed by a spouse or family. MOST of the girls i know from HS that are getting married were (pick one): wicked bitches, dumb as rocks, insecure, and/or sticks-in-the-mud.
I only know two current brides-to-be that i love and believe are meant to be married to their future husbands and know they will love one another and make each other's lives even more amazing. SO I GUESS U COULD SAY I'M BIASED.
I don't think my purpose is to be a mother. That is not why I exist. I do not know why i exist, but it isn't to be someone's mother.
I'd also rather contribute to a community that needs my help, than a child. There are many people in the world that have nothing and need advocacy and/or volunteerism to help their cause/survival. I don't see how bringing a child in the world aides that cause.
My old boss travels to Europe all the time, hosts decadent dinner parties and has many friends whom she loves and they love her. That seems like an amazing, complete existence to me.
Maybe you can have both amazing family and career - BUT THE QUESTION YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT IS DO YOU EVEN WANT BOTH? or do you just tack on motherhood and marriage b/c that's how you were raised?
It amazes me how PRESENTLY in our society you can be extremely accomplished in your career or whatever the fuck else does not have to do with family and people will continue to ask you about husbands and babies. AS IF THIS WILL FINALLY COMPLETE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING, give you purpose? Does it ever occur to them that you may in fact be complete in the beautiful life you have made for yourself?!
I FEEL LIKE I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS WAY. FB is deceiving me???????
From all this thinking i realized i want to take my writing to the next level and be more serious about it. I want to complete writing projects i never picked back up again. It's what's truly important to me and I've let it slip by the wayside. I want to write a novel instead of having a baby.
And if i ever change my mind, you can print this off and make me read it at a dinner party.
I want to have a kickass career, and let my writing be my legacy.
I guess it would be nice if I ever became a mother, that I was a good one. But that idea does not sound the least bit fulfilling to me. I got to thinking about it the other day and realized I'd rather be known for my work than a child. At this point in my life, I'd rather marry myself to my career and/or artistic pursuits.
It seems that marriage and babies have become some sort of achievement in my age group. But from my perspective, it doesn't take much to do those things. The "nobility" is more in the longevity of it, the commitment to it. It doesn't take much to get married, it's staying married. It doesn't take much to get pregnant, it takes a lot to be a good parent. So i guess i just don't get why people have these as checklist items, goals for their life. They seem like bigger ideas than simply goals.
I also feel like i see people getting married or having babies b/c they no longer feel they have any dreams to fulfill, or they do not know their purpose so they revert to being consumed by a spouse or family. MOST of the girls i know from HS that are getting married were (pick one): wicked bitches, dumb as rocks, insecure, and/or sticks-in-the-mud.
I only know two current brides-to-be that i love and believe are meant to be married to their future husbands and know they will love one another and make each other's lives even more amazing. SO I GUESS U COULD SAY I'M BIASED.
I don't think my purpose is to be a mother. That is not why I exist. I do not know why i exist, but it isn't to be someone's mother.
I'd also rather contribute to a community that needs my help, than a child. There are many people in the world that have nothing and need advocacy and/or volunteerism to help their cause/survival. I don't see how bringing a child in the world aides that cause.
My old boss travels to Europe all the time, hosts decadent dinner parties and has many friends whom she loves and they love her. That seems like an amazing, complete existence to me.
Maybe you can have both amazing family and career - BUT THE QUESTION YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT IS DO YOU EVEN WANT BOTH? or do you just tack on motherhood and marriage b/c that's how you were raised?
It amazes me how PRESENTLY in our society you can be extremely accomplished in your career or whatever the fuck else does not have to do with family and people will continue to ask you about husbands and babies. AS IF THIS WILL FINALLY COMPLETE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING, give you purpose? Does it ever occur to them that you may in fact be complete in the beautiful life you have made for yourself?!
I FEEL LIKE I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS WAY. FB is deceiving me???????
From all this thinking i realized i want to take my writing to the next level and be more serious about it. I want to complete writing projects i never picked back up again. It's what's truly important to me and I've let it slip by the wayside. I want to write a novel instead of having a baby.
And if i ever change my mind, you can print this off and make me read it at a dinner party.
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