I was speaking to a friend the other day. Somehow we got on the subject of "the one that got away" concept of lovers/ex-lovers/wanted ex-lovers.
you know those relationships (or never requited ones) that you "knew deep down in your heart" would've worked if one thing (or many things) were not true? The ones where time, age, distance, circumstance, or just plain fate stepped in and blocked you from the happy ending?
If those blocks weren't there, would it have worked out? Was that your "soul mate"? I don't think this is how it works.
I think there is a purpose to those blockades, those barriers bigger than you. They are to keep you from missing something better you can't see yet.
I know this belief that "everything happens the way is supposed to", "what's meant to be is meant to be", is not a new one. It also relies heavily on a foundational belief that the Universe, Destiny, God - whatever you believe is bigger than you - is the real determiner of your future.
I think when it comes to big things, like Love, Destiny - there is a higher power involved looking out for your best interest. Even if in that moment it appears cruel, tragic, unfair or makes no sense - I choose to believe this way. The alternative is just too stark, too depressing to accept. There has to be something that was meant for you that was better than what you wanted - if not, then what is the point? Wouldn't they be with you if it is was "meant to be"?
To ask another question: Let's say if you met them once again, in a garden somewhere or coffee shop. You spoke with this ill-fated lover and said everything you wanted and they now could be with you - would you want to be with them still?
The people I love have changed since I knew them. They are no longer the men I fell in love with, but different in personality, belief, and measure of experience. They are probably (let's hope) better men than when I met them - as I like to believe I am a better woman as well. But even if they have improved or not, the person I once was in love with is gone for good. The person from that time has left and this is a new person to meet. So maybe I'd like that new person too, but that's a large gamble.
My heart is still achey for the RPJ but it's never gonna happen so i need to remember that. But "we were so perfect for each other" keeps ringing in my head. It's one of those situations when you're like, "if i could just show them how good we are for each other" but i think this all happened for a reason and we probably not good for each other. It's just me being in love with the idea of love.
Just random thoughts.....i write to figure out.
you know those relationships (or never requited ones) that you "knew deep down in your heart" would've worked if one thing (or many things) were not true? The ones where time, age, distance, circumstance, or just plain fate stepped in and blocked you from the happy ending?
If those blocks weren't there, would it have worked out? Was that your "soul mate"? I don't think this is how it works.
I think there is a purpose to those blockades, those barriers bigger than you. They are to keep you from missing something better you can't see yet.
I know this belief that "everything happens the way is supposed to", "what's meant to be is meant to be", is not a new one. It also relies heavily on a foundational belief that the Universe, Destiny, God - whatever you believe is bigger than you - is the real determiner of your future.
I think when it comes to big things, like Love, Destiny - there is a higher power involved looking out for your best interest. Even if in that moment it appears cruel, tragic, unfair or makes no sense - I choose to believe this way. The alternative is just too stark, too depressing to accept. There has to be something that was meant for you that was better than what you wanted - if not, then what is the point? Wouldn't they be with you if it is was "meant to be"?
To ask another question: Let's say if you met them once again, in a garden somewhere or coffee shop. You spoke with this ill-fated lover and said everything you wanted and they now could be with you - would you want to be with them still?
The people I love have changed since I knew them. They are no longer the men I fell in love with, but different in personality, belief, and measure of experience. They are probably (let's hope) better men than when I met them - as I like to believe I am a better woman as well. But even if they have improved or not, the person I once was in love with is gone for good. The person from that time has left and this is a new person to meet. So maybe I'd like that new person too, but that's a large gamble.
My heart is still achey for the RPJ but it's never gonna happen so i need to remember that. But "we were so perfect for each other" keeps ringing in my head. It's one of those situations when you're like, "if i could just show them how good we are for each other" but i think this all happened for a reason and we probably not good for each other. It's just me being in love with the idea of love.
Just random thoughts.....i write to figure out.
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