Seeing Nicholas Sparks

I took a chance and saw an Author Talk at 6th & I with the the incredibly humble and charming, Nicholas Sparks.  And i even got a signed copy of his new book with my ticket purchase!

I enjoyed the talk so much more than I had expected. I thought Mr. Sparks was going to be somewhat of a "Godlike" character - very elevated, knowing his talent and being arrogant.  My first assumption is that people that are THAT successful must be like this, even if they try to not show it - to me, Oprah and Tom Cruise act like this. Very smug it seems.

So - to my absolute surprise, Sparks has none of the arrogance and all of the talent.  He was so enjoyable to listen to.  He spoke on his new book, "The Longest Ride", his writing process, what it's like to have a good majority of your 18 novels adapted into movies, and life in general.

Some moments i loved, as a writer:

• He said he gets a "seed" of an idea and this grows into a novel. He said he doesn't know where that seed comes from, but when he gets one that sticks with him he writes about it and sees where it leads him.
• He writes for 5 hours a day, averaging a novel in a 5 month period.
• A lot of his characters are based on his experiences, specifically the people he has known and loved in his life, ie: he spoke about his wife, grandparents-in-law, brother, sisters and children. 
• "Writing is hard" - He wanted to emphasize that he just doesn't sit down and have things effortlessly flow from his fingertips
• "I'm a writer not a typist" - It's easy to type out a bunch of words onto paper, but not to write a bunch of words on paper.
• Although all of his stories take place in the South, he tries to challenge himself by writings characters he is not - ie: he is a white, male - he writes characters from different gender, races and religious backgrounds.
• He does not classify himself as a romance novelist, ie: anything with Fabio on the book cover.  He says his work are novels about life and life has great romance and love stories in it, but they should not be classified strictly as "romance novels"

Some moments i loved as an audience member:

• One question asked was, "what was the hardest character to stop writing about, or walk away from when you were done writing about them?" He answered it was Jamie from "A Walk to Remember" because that character was based on his sister who died of cancer at a young age. I got misty eyed when he told that story and talked about his sister and her life and how that was shown in the book.
• He personally believes that every person will do the right thing most of the time. and most of the time we all have the best intentions.  But sometimes we screw up or are flawed. And that is how he writes his characters. 
• He was really funny!!! You'd think he'd be serious, but he was so light hearted and happy.  Not a moody, serious writer.
• He lives in a small town in North Carolina, which i love
• He based "The Notebook" on his wife's grandparents love story. 

Sparks definitely seems like a person who enjoys life, works hard for his success and tries to take in all the good and bad and enjoy every moment. I love people like that!  I wish i could be more like that.

Friday night, the 27th

Friday night i went out with the HCMW (hawt canadian man whore) lawyer.  We went to Union Market for some tasty sea morsels of raw oysters. I ordered the Cava, he got a beer i forget the name of now. Oh and we also hacked away at a glorious crabcake, crispy on all sides, laying on a beg of pretentious (in the best sense) slaw.

The HCMW went to Berlin last week and told me of his travels. He spoke of beer and beer and sausages and bread. and lots of art. and people with crazy hair styles who will be cooler than you no matter how hard you try. He also said the bars were all hole in the wall, divey places with dark dark lights and a band that would consist of violinist and bass - or pick any two other instruments.

After that we then went to a bunch of other fine H Street establishments. They have great bars on that street. They are the kind that you can hide away in and will not see anyone you know. They are a bit smoky, loud and secret.

At the Old Queen Vic we had the most beers. Mostly of the Scottish fare. Then the HCMW continued to romance me and i was done for. We've been dating since August, so the jig is up.

After our fun night we went to the Crafty Bastards Craft fair.  I bought a beautiful print from an Asheville, NC's Marisol Spoon, http://marisolspoon.com/category.php?category_id=2 I got the "Librarian" one. So fitting. She is so cute. I can't wait to stick her in a frame.

The HCMW wears a St. Christopher necklace under his clothes, over his collarbone. He brought me back 3 huge bars of dark chocolate (70%+). He told me he wants to fatten me up so he won't have other men competing for my affections and he can have me all to himself. Ha! I thought that was very saucy to say.

fling.

http://dcist.com/2013/09/the_best_hotel_bars_in_dc.php

 

some man take me to these fancy hotel bars. i will wear a black dress and heels. we can pretend we don't know each other and then go have a fling upstairs.

i hope my married friends are seeing this post.

ZOMG. fassy fix for the day.

http://teolar.tumblr.com/post/60953010384

XVIII

XVIII

I thought about what I used to like to do

When I hadn’t met you yet.

I loved lilacs

And never walked by them without a sniff and a sigh.

I like daisies now.

He loves me

He loves me not.

He love me not.

He loves me not?

He loves me.

He loves me!

He loves me?

Not.

Stuck in a poppy seed field.

Explosives all around.

Don’t stop you might never wake up.

Don’t rest, you’ll never get want you want or to

where you’re going.

She had her work cut out for her –

Dragging three men around who can barely protect her from a lion a tiger or a bear?

O my.

And typical –

How typical it was that none of them possessed a

A Heart, a brain, or the nerve simultaneously.

Typical.

The only one she could really rely on was the dog.

You never heard a complaint out of him.

And after all this nonsense she still has a bitch on her tail,

green with envy.

Typical, typical is all there needs to be said.

All I want is a basket. And a dog.

Maybe, on a good day the checkered dress.

I can do without the three doofuses and who said I needed a wizard?

I am my own wizard.

read more here please: http://therovingcorker.wordpress.com/
http://therovingcorker.wordpress.com/2013/09/23/the-sophomore/

The Cultural Queen About Town....i suppose.

i am going to a Physicist lecture,

A Curator of the National Gallery private tour.

Andrea Bruce talk @ Corcoran.

Nicholas Sparks talk on Friday.


I'm a Renaissance woman, I am!

The Forever Empty.

"Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It's the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid."

~ Pema Chödrön




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c

Why Louis CK is a genius and the amazing points he makes: 

1. Why should your kid "get" something because everyone else has it, yet the thing that everyone else has isn't necessarily good for them to have. Why blindly follow every societal rule? Don't we have too many really STUPID ones to follow? ie: doing things society tells us, because that's normal, ie: 9-5 jobs, marriage, house, kids when you don't want those things (different story when you truly want them). By giving your child the idea they should FOLLOW every stupid trend you're already setting them up to be sheep. 
2. Cell phones take away your ability for empathy. Especially if you are a kid, learning what empathy feels like.
3. Cell phones numb you from your reality.
4. Knowing how to "just be" is an amazing life skill. Sometimes - believe it or not - you will not have any technology around you. You will be alone or in nature (if you're lucky and/or so inclined). You will have no one to talk to and just the quiet of your mind to be with. As Louis says, "that is what being a human being is."
5. Goes back to #3 but, i TRULY believe people have become less comfortable w/ their emotions, thus wanting to dull those emotions with other drugs/technology/sex/medications and instead of feeling feelings, just take away any feeling. I feel like Americans in particular have this absurd idea that you are meant to have a default emotion of HAPPY at all times. Which is insane. Again, i think this is a COMPLETELY different story if you know you need medication for your well being.  Our bodies' chemistry are not all made the same and i realize medication is a needed component for helping people in order to live a full, healthy, happy life  who may otherwise not be able to w/out those meds. 
6. THE FOREVER EMPTY. This is something that no one talks about enough! It's like we are supposed to numb this feeling and not acknowledge having it- when really emotions like this - happy, sad, confused, angry make us all equal and make us able to relate to and respect each other better. 
7. Crying feels really really good. 
8. i love Louis CK. He says stuff that no one else is saying. And he makes me feel like America isn't THAT stupid/too far gone into complete cerebral decline. 
9. Also - did anyone else notice how nervous the audience sounds? Fascinating how his points are so true. People are uncomfortable with this subject matter. And i don't know if that's a good thing. 

Freedom is not worth having unless it includes the freedom to make mistakes.

The Downtown Lights.

"Downtown Lights"

Sometimes I walk away
When all I really wanna do
Is love and hold you right
There is just one thing I can say
Nobody loves you this way
It's all right, can't you see
The downtown lights

In love we're all the same
We're walking down an empty street
And with nobody comin' on me
Empty street, empty night
The downtown lights

How do I know you feel it
How do I know you feel it
How do I know you feel it
How do I know it's true
Yea...
It's alright

Tonight and every night
Let's go walking down this empty street
Let's walk in the cool evening night
Wrong or right, be at my side
The downtown lights...
It will be all right
It will be all right
The downtown lights

How do I know you feel it
How do I know you feel it
How do I know you feel it
How do I know it's true
It's alright
It's alright
The downtown lights
Yea yea

Neons, every cigarettes
The rented rose and rented cars
The crowded streets, the empty bars
Chimney-tops, the trumpets
The golden lights, the loving prayers
Colored shoes, the empty trains
I'm tired of crying on the stairs
The downtown lights 

 

 It will be all right
It will be all right
The downtown lights

 

"I Remember" by Anne Sexton

 

I remember by Anne Sexton.

Nothing can be done

Come a rain storm put your rubbers on your feet
Comes a snow storm you can get a little heat
Comes love nothing can be done
Comes a fire then you know just what to do
Blow a tire You can buy another shoe
Comes love nothing can be done
Don’t try hidin?
'Cause there isn’t any use
You’ll start slidin?
When your heart turns on the juice
Comes a headache you can lose it in a day
Comes a toothache see the dentist right away
Comes love nothing can be done!

Comes a heat wave you can hurry to the shore
Comes a summons you can hide behind the door
Comes love Nothing can be done
Comes the measles you can quarantine the room
Comes a mousie you can chase it with a broom
Comes love nothing can be done
That’s all brother
If you’ve ever been in love
That’s all brother
You know what I’m speaking of!
Comes a nightmare you can always stay awake
Comes depression you may get another break
Comes love nothing can be done!



WC's world came crashing down today and unfortunately i got to be "apart" of it.

I was solicited to speak to WC via fb chat and it turns out it wasn't really WC,  it was his 7 year live-in gf? i was messaging with this live-in gf. She messaged me seconds later to tell me it was her, how i ruined her life, blah blah blah.

although i do feel bad, i have to believe i was not the reason, but a factor in the demise.

i can tell you i have learned i will NEVER ever ever EVER flirt with an attached man.
woooo! what a doozy.
can you imagine if this involved a wife and children? i used to say i drew the line at wife and children, but because of this major fiasco, I'm revising that to "no significant others" PERIOD. 

it's made me think twice about kissing anyone.  


Love is so much more powerful than I once thought.

This weekend

Friday i got a frozen pizza, a bottle of wine, watched Hart of Dixie and went to bed at 10:30.

it was epic.

Saturday i went to the farmers market, hung out with my awesome friend, Eric, i went to a friends housewarming party, met tons of cool new people, rode my bike, went to karaoke, sang "Rehab" and "I want you to want me", got kissed on the cheek by an adorable undergrad Georgetown student, came home and ate the rest of the pizza from the night before.

Today i ran in Rock Creek Park, rode my bike, went to brunch with HCMW then got for yo, then kissed, then went to Pho with Hawt ginge, then had two saison beers as well.

SOLID WEEKEND. 

Still in the Running

Lawyer - he always plans amazing date nights, pays for everything, compliments me, is really funny and great conversation. and he is smart.

Hot Canadian Man Whore - We began as friends and now we make-out and kiss when we are together. As soon as he found out i was dating boys, be upped his game and now pays for everything. He calls me sweetie, hottie, and tells me to "stop being so sexy." He makes me blush all the time - yet i am friend zoning him b/c i know he does this with all his "girlfriends."

Hawt Ginge - I think i want to friend zone him, but he seems like the sweetest guy ever. We've only been out once but I can tell he is a good person. i just can't tell if i like him that way yet. 

Cut from the Team

I am cutting the WG from the team.

Our first two dates were awesome. Our third date he took me to a shitty resto, we split the check, then he didn't even pay for my $4.00 gelato.  Then all he wanted to do was have sex, "cuz he's not looking for anything right now" EXCEPT FOR SEX, I GUESS.

ALSO HE TOLD ME I WASN'T FUNNY. even if i'm not, don't you just lie or something?! "that's not funny." what a Dick!!!

So recently I heard this quote from somewhere, it was something like, "If a man tells you he is not looking to be serious believe him" - meaning if someone directly tells you they are not looking for a serious relationship, they are telling you the truth.  And the best thing you can do for yourself is believe them and move on.

I think to many women (myself included in the past) want to believe they can be the one that "Changes" their man.  And that's always a losing game. Why waste your time on someone who blatantly tells you you are not what they are looking for?

So - even though i like the WG and thought he had potential - WG is being cut from the team because i do not have time to waste on a guy that doesn't want to date me and ONLY wants me for sex. gross.

Jealousy

I have a new individual who has walked into my life (think co-worker, neighbor, roommate). And so far, I cannot stand them.

When i say things about my weekend, or my interests, this person finds a way to give me a back-handed compliment, or demean it.  I do not know why.  This person also loves to gossip.

I think this person may be out of their comfort zone and acting out.  I also have a feeling the reason they are targeting me with statements like that is due to jealousy. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt and chalking it up to where they are at right now, but in the mean time, it's got me thinking a lot about jealousy.

I used to think jealousy was a very bad, shameful emotion to feel. It lead to self-doubt, hating another person, comparing yourself to others and being mean to a person you covet something from. As I've gotten older, I've realized you can use jealousy in a very healthy way.  It's a delicate, balance, but jealousy is not always a bad emotion to have.

For one thing, when you feel jealousy rising in yourself, you can step back and take a moment to recognize it, and ask yourself, "why am i feeling this way? what is it that i am jealous about - the person, their situation, their ambition, luck?"

After you ask yourself that you can take the answer and see how it applies to your life. For instance, if a co-worker has just written an article and been published in an esteemed academic journal for their findings, perhaps I'd become jealous. After recognizing the feeling of jealousy, I can ask why - "Is it because I want to be better in my profession? Is it because I admire their ambition, drive? Do I want the "fame" and recognition that can come from writing such a published work?"

Once you identify the reason it rarely has anything to do with person the jealousy was directed at in the first place.  It's the person you dislike, it the lack of ____ they appear to have that you do not.

After identifying exactly what it is - this is the good part of jealousy - you can choose to PROACTIVELY set a goal of how to achieve that coveted thing for yourself.  It is usually the harder path, but well worth it.

If you use jealousy as a red flag and directional guide, it is much healthier and can spur you to be a better person.  If you don't use it that way, you will constantly be comparing yourself to others and never be able to love and accept yourself.

I feel like this person is jealous of me.  I think I am going to take it as a compliment and move forward.

"What other people think of you is none of your business."

Fleeting in either case.

All the boys want to kiss you when they're leaving, but i guess they want to kiss you when you make a grand entrance too. Fleeting in either case.

The hawt ginge bartender has asked me out.

The RPJ responded to my three month old email with an obscure, short email and a Linked-in request?

A boy from the west coast has checked up on me as he occasionally does, although i wish he called me.

A boy who is in love with a blonded-haired southern belle keeps texting me, yet desperately avoiding any contact and i do not know why - since my crush on him faded three months after kissing him on a sweaty September Texas night - therefore i no longer want to jump his bones, but i guess he thinks i do? oh men.

I have a date this week Wed (Hot Canadian Man Whore), Thursday (Wonderful Guy), Sun (Hawt Ginge Bar tender).

Friday and Saturday are to myself. But i am going to try to avoid meeting anymore boys, b/c right now it is at 5 (Lawyer and John Mayer were not mentioned this week) and it is beginning to become difficult to keep straight.

I guess this is a lesson in balance? also there is such a thing as too much attention.

Labor Day weekend in DC

One of my BEST friends Jessica came to visit me in DC for the long weekend. We did SO much in the short time she was here!! Holy Moly.

A quick run down:
Friday: I brought Jes to Ping Pong Dim Sum. My favorite Dim Dum place in D.C. thus far. I'm sure there is a more authentic, cheaper place, but this place never fails to delight my senses. With the flavors, textures and beautiful presentation it's always a delectable time.

After Dim Sum we walked around, looking at the monuments at night.

Then, we headed over to my corner bar.  The bar manager who has seen me there before bought me and Jes TWO rounds then asked me on a date. He seems to be a playa, and when i quipped this to him he said, "i truly do find you absolutely stunning." - oh my. ALSO - mind you this is the same bar i have gotten two dates at previously after going there in yoga clothes, no makeup. I'm CONVINCED this bar like releases pheromones in my body or something. CRAY-CRAY.

Saturday: We woke up, got breakfast at a cute french bakery next to Eastern Market, then went to Eastern Market.  I bought a pack of organic lavender products a lady made and was selling and Jes got a stellar jade ring that matched her sea-foam green nail polish. Then we went to the American History museum - saw Julia Child's kitchen, the ORIGINAL star spangled banner (like the one the song was written about, AKA the one Francis Scott Key saw as he watched the battle), and Dorothy's red slippers.We then went to the Natural History Museum and after traipsing around we saw the Hope diamond and an IMAX film in which they played this song:

The film was "Ultimate Wave" with Kelly Slater surfing the ultimate wave in Tahiti.
Later that night we went to Alexandria for Eamonn's Chippery and PX Lounge Cocktail drinks. PX Lounge feels like an old Speakeasy. Kinda like being in "Midnight in Paris."

 Sunday: We had brunch, walked ALL over Georgetown, went to Madam's Organ, danced to an amazing Blues band (Stacey Brooks) and sang some Karaoke.

Monday: We went to the National Portrait gallery and then went to Teaism for really good zen food.

IT WAS A HELLUVAH WEEKEND. Love you, Jes!