Fuck yes

I went out with a friend last night. I had some beers. I showed her pictures of the two drastically older men I'm interested in. One of whom is my ex.

She looked at me and said
"OMG. No. You are way too nice and too funny and too beautiful to date these losers!!! You deserve someone who's going to take you on dates and want to date you."

I got a text from RPJ when i got home.

I called him twice he didn't pick up.

I said I'd rather talk on the phone.

So then I proceed to drop TRUTH BOMBS on his phone.

I don't know if what I did was right.

Basically I told him
Shit or get off the pot. Just in many more words.

I spoke my truth, so I'm not going to feel bad about it. I just hate it when a girl speaks her mind and a man labels her as "psycho or crazy" - when in actuality I'm just looking to cleanse my life of the BULLSHIT which he sprays onto it.

It's so complicated and painful and I don't have time for this shit!!!!

Did I do the "right" thing? Am I missing out on the greatest love of my life? I don't think so, since I would hope the greatest love of my life WOULD ACTUALLY TREAT ME WITH MUTUAL RESPECT AND LOVE.  i feel the love from him. Just no respect. 

It's Up from Here.

I really fucked up during my first week of 2015. I guess I can only go up from here.

I hooked up with someone on NYE. He started paying attention to me the minute i walked in the door. And then the ball dropped and then we were kissing. I think I screwed it up before it even started. And that sucks. Since I've not gotten any wanted attention in awhile. And speaking of unwanted attention...

My ex, the toxic one, you know, sent me a "happy new years" text. I answered. He followed up with a we have to catch up!!!

So we did. I went over to his place for tea. We had tea and sat at the kitchen table and beat more dead horses, hashed out everything from the past. I said it wasn't meant to be. He said, not that's not it. It's b/c of _____. He also said if you would've ____.

But we cannot live our lives this way. The What Ifs. I feel deep in my core that there is no reason for us to EVER get back together. But the levy of that thought starts to leak when my ex says things like that. As if he wants it to happen again. 

At first, I felt really good after our meeting. It was healing, a truce. But now I've been doubting it and I know it can't happen too often. There is a small part of me that will always be in love with this fantasy of him. What if it was real? But it's not. So I cannot see us ever being close friends, because then we will venture into toxic territory. A territory I've been in and want no part of anymore. Even thinking about it gives me a visceral reaction, I feel sick to my stomach.

I'm scared that I'm not strong enough to resist that small chance if presented. Yet, I think it's enough of a sign that I have an overwhelming feeling of dread thinking of us dating. Tea time will no longer be a regularity. I do not want to be anyone's option, I want to be someones priority.

I've done so much internal work on myself this year, for the better. I'm so scared of going backwards, but I don't think you can truly go backwards. I get scared all my hard work will be lost.

I told my ex I was seeing someone even though I'm not. I told him I was seeing a South African Journalist who is my age and is really interesting. Maybe if I say it, it will come true.

I think I've been out of sorts and wild and spinning. I don't feel great, but I will soon. I just need to catch my breath and remember all the lessons I've learned. Remember how going backwards is not where I want to go.

2015 can only get better.

 

A Masterpiece

Once upon a time, I dated an artist. It was a very short romance. As most stereotypes, he oozed charisma. His flirtations were a wide net and I was the catch; inescapable. I had no chance the moment he put his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, “I think we’re going to be trouble.”

The hooks were in deep. But then came the mood swings, the verbal abuse … the other women. He no longer talked with me, but at me. All conversations were art lectures, or therapist appointments in which I played the role of the incompetent therapist. Listening for hours, not able to offer advice, and leaving more perplexed about “us” then when I had walked in. His narcissism and womanizing revealed itself soon enough and that lead to a swift demise.

I went to a music concert recently and this quote from a song stuck out to me:

"Like a flame not allowed to last very long but how fantastic and strong."

(Frontier Ruckus - If the Suns Collapse)

From my end, our relationship was as short as it was intense. But it was not all bad, because I learned some invaluable lessons. I learned what I will allow and what I will not. I learned that I want to be an equal in a partnership, not a fiddler player of the background music to someone else’s life story. The question this short relationship asked of me was, do I want to be the muse or do I want to be the artist, the creator myself? I have learned I am the creator of my own life story.

So this afterthought isn’t about how to date a creative mind. This is about how to cultivate your own creative power, how to become your own creator.

 At some point you must find the strength within yourself to step out from your partner's shadow. Living in the shadow of an artist can be difficult. Artists are contagiously creative, passionate, and emotional.  They brood in thought and like a mood ring can be 50 colors in one day. Not all these traits are bad. But they can effect you negatively if you let them. The American photographer, Lee Miller, met surrealist artist, Man Ray, when she was 22 years old in 1929. She became his lover and muse. While with him, she managed to learn from his photographic techniques, help run his studio, and become an artist. At 25, Miller left Man Ray and Paris to return to New York and establish a portrait and commercial photography studio with her brother Erik as her darkroom assistant.  She would go on to become an acclaimed photographer for Vogue, serving as war correspondent during WWII.

Lee Miller in Hitler's bath Photo: David E. Scherma © Lee Miller ... http://www.pinterest.com/pin/177329304052472517/

Examine yourself. Who are you and what are you creating? The painter, Frida Kahlo, once said, "I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best." Meeting the famous artist Diego Rivera at age 20, Frida wanted his opinion on her work. He replied, “You’ve got talent.” This encouragement and her perseverance would result in the Louvre buying one of her paintings, “The Frame”; the first work by a twentieth-century Mexican artist to be purchased by the renowned museum. Although Kahlo’s fame came posthumously, her authentic sense of self has lived on forever in her art and its admirers. Your creations are eternal.

http://www.friendsofart.net/en/art/frida-kahlo/the-frame

I invite you to create a list of qualities you’d like in an ideal partner. In a 1981 speech given at Yale, the ground-breaking feminist, political activist and journalist, Gloria Steinem stated, “Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” Ask yourself if you have the qualities you would like to have in a partner. If you do, that’s great. If you don’t have them, focus on those qualities you lack and see how you can cultivate them. Remember to create your own masterpiece before giving all your paint away to a jackass. Your personal artistry will lead you to making your very own masterpiece if you let it.

http://agypsiblog.com/2013/03/15/femme-fatals-gloria-steinem/

my mojo is back :)

i saw the white whale biking down my street last night coming home from work.  in the past i would've gotten a heavy gut punch drop in my stomach, or embarrassment, shame. 

i felt nothing. not sadness, not happiness, but
indifference.

it was as if a stranger passed me on a bike. Could this be a sign the last embers of heartbreak are finally being doused out? i sure hope so. Time does heal; that's a cliche cuz it's true.
also it helps that i finally see him as a dumb ass and not a missed opportunity.

i went to a book release last night. a really attractive man chatted me up and eventually asked for my number.

my MOJO IS BACK.
i love myself more than i used to. i'm more confident. i think the positive energy i feel is noticeable and that is why more men are approaching me.

i stopped giving a fuck about what everyone thinks and what everyone says i should do. now i just do what i want and it seems to me that it's working.

MY CRUSH OF THE MONTH

My crush of the month is photographer, Javier Manzano.

  

 why Javier is my crush of the month:

• talented photographer
• seems intelligent from the interviews i've seen/read: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE1Q2iDYwqQ
• passionate about his work
• SEXY
• has an accent
•  SEXY

IF HE WAS SINGLE HE WOULD BE A UNICORN.







Mr. Manzano is  an award-winning Mexican photographer known for his coverage of the country's drug wars, the War in Afghanistan and the Syrian civil war. He is the winner of the 2013 Pulitzer Prize for feature photography^[5]


 

Cab or Couch

 



I went out this past Friday. I was out with my friends for a birthday party. Some guy was there. He was like a hotter version of the lead singer of Mumford and Sons. Sharp retro styled, Mad men hair cut, plaid wearing, muscular. And he had a sexy name. The first name where it could be a last name, sorta deal.

We danced all night and then made out and then realized all our friends had left us. He kept complaining that he had to catch a cab to Arlington (wtf) and asking me to come home with him. My new thing is to not sleep with a guy until I know he's fallen in love with me, so clearly that wasn't happening. He kept on complaining and I was tired and I thought about if the situation was turned around. I thought, "ya it would suck having to spend $50.00 on a cab ride." I was tired and a bit drunk and offered up my couch but was CRYSTAL CLEAR that he was sleeping on the couch.

We went back to my place, at pizza and watched Maron. I should've known he was a bad guy when he didn't know who Marc Maron was. Red Flag. And when I found out he was a TAX LOBBYIST FOR THE KOCH BROTHERS. Red Flag on Fire.

After we watch an episode, I said, "ok time for bed." I threw some pillows and a blanket on the couch and said goodnight. He looked at me and said, "Wait, you're REALLY going to make me sleep on the couch?" 

"Yes. I said you could sleep on my couch. You're not sleeping in my bed. I just met you tonight, you're not sleeping in my bed."

"I can't believe you're doing this. You're so inconsiderate. You know, I'm a catch."








MY JAW DROPS. I begin laughing from astonishment. "I'm a catch!!!"

He rolls his eyes.
OH NO YOU DIDN'T JUST DO THAT TO ME.

"Listen you can either sleep on my couch or take a cab. It's COUCH OR CAB."

"Well then I guess I'm taking a cab."

"I guess you are."

He slammed the door of my apartment while yelling at me. I got back in my bed, ate more pizza, snuggled under the covers watching Maron and breathed a huge sigh of relief. I'm glad I got to throw SUCH A CATCH back out to the sea of love for someone else to hook. 

I get a text from him when he is in the back of the cab:
Is this your #? Thanks for everything. Such a great time @ your place. Listening to Beiber in the cab. hope 2 see ya soon.

WTF

Then i get a text the next day:
So hung over today. Let's grab a drink sometime. Nice dance moves ;-)

WTF.

OBVIOUSLY
I WOULD NEVER TEXT HIM BACK.

This is dating in DC.
This is why I will remain single until I move somewhere else.
This is why I love being single.


And this is the last time i will EVER offer a man to sleep on my couch. They'll just have to deal with the $50.00 cab rides.



 

Connect the Dots.

Last night i went to a 90s cover band with my friends and had lots of fun. We danced to santaria and hootie and the blowfish - "i only wanna be with you". I texted the guys who asked for my number last weekend and neither of them came. One was "in Baltimore" (i don't know if that was true) and one JUST NEVER ANSWERED.

It's weird when guys ask for your number, text you saying they want to see you and then never respond to any of your texts. But I think it's just because they were bored when they initially asked you for the number and weren't actually into you. Maybe they thought they were when they were alone at a bar. Mostly though I just think that's inconsiderate dick-like behavior. But who am I to judge.

We then went to the corner bar at 1:30 am where all the black men thought i was hot and all the white men were way too young, too handsy and i had to call them out and remove them from my general dancing circle. Race had nothing to do with this, it was just the weird unexplainable thread of the night.

It was beautiful to be out with a group of girlfriends. i really liked that. There is something about drinking beers and dancing to good music with women; and you don't care if men are there or looking at you.

After the last bar i walked to my apartment with my roomie and was hungry and wanted 2:45 in the morning food. She did too. So i went to the pizza shop around the corner and got in line. While in line i see THE WHITE WHALE in the corner of my eye with his fellow photo journalist friend chatting. "FUCKKKKKK," was my first thought. The next thought was, "REALLY?  ... ... ... really...?!" Then the third thought was, "pretend he isn't here."

But of course he was an adult and mature and came over on his way out to say hello to me. Which included a European kiss on both cheeks - I'm attributing that to his suspected drunkeness. He introduced me to his friend. I was graceful and appropriate (yet again) and felt ok about that. Although I've forgiven him, I'm not ready to see him on a 3 times a month basis. I don't want to think about him anymore. It's like when you're happy that your ex is married but you don't need to look at the Facebook album of his wedding day. It's like that. We never ran into each other this much before we dated, why is it more now???

This leads me to question what the Universe is trying to tell me. Am I not getting over this fast enough? Am I being tested by the Universe to prove that I'm "really" over him? Or maybe it's not cosmic at all. Maybe it's not telling me anything. Maybe it's just the truth and that is what happens when you live 10 blocks away from a guy you used to date and abruptly crushed your hopes of a new romance in half and then threw it like dust into the garbage.

Maybe the Universe is just telling me "you gotta keep on trucking, protect your beautiful sass, and cut the assholes off the team."

I don't know what the lesson is and i most likely will not see it until next year. Things that happen in your life are like a "connect-the-dots" picture. You don't see how it all makes sense until you are done and realize that point 1-2 is the arm and 5-10 is the nose and well duh, of course it was a horse!!!! Really though I hope i don't see him anymore it sucks.

WASHINGTON D.C.: MOST LITERATE, MOST ALONE.

I find it fascinating that both these news stories broke today:
D.C. is the 2nd best city for singles: http://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/2014/best-cities-singles/

It also is the #1 most well-read, most literate US city. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2014/02/06/washington-d-c-is-still-americas-most-literate-city/

WASHINGTON D.C.: MOST SINGLE PEOPLE, MOST LITERATE.

This leads me to the following questions:
Are smart people shitty at dating?

Are smart people too intelligent to date? Meaning too aware of the pitfalls and tragedies dating can bring, so therefore avoid or reject it.

Are people in DC so busy reading books and articles on the internet they do not need human interaction?

Are people in DC too socially awkward and nerdy to find partners?

Are intelligent people arrogant, too picky when choosing a mate?

IS THIS WHY IT'S SO DAMN HARD TO DATE HERE????

this video explains my theory:

MARC MARON

I want to date someone who is like Marc Maron, but less damaged and less angry.

But then, that person wouldn't be like Marc Maron anymore. And I wouldn't like him.

 

Roman Geisha

last night i went to a birthday party. then the whole party went to a bar. at the bar i was approached by an older, Roman banker. It's as if God knows my biggest temptations. We flirted all night. Talked about Italy. Then we started talking about relationships. Then we found ourselves at a 24 hour diner because there was still so much to talk about. And then we talked about his marriage. we left the diner and both walked towards our different lives.

Nothing happened but good conversation. It wasn't about dating, sex, or exchanging numbers - that never happened; it was about talking to a stranger and the enjoyment of that. But i don't know why I entertain unavailable men. Was I a Geisha in a past life?

It's something I'm working on, and it makes me hate bars and it makes me hate dating in a way i never have before.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

Pillars

Slowly but surely getting over the douchebag. I know I dodged a bullet, but the grazing of it past my skin is what I'm recovering from.

Today, whilst in hatred of men from my past, I began thinking about men in general. And I was surprised at what I found.

On the metro this morning, there was a group of three young priests, or more appropriately called, Seminarians, I believe?

They were all rosy cheeked, young men.  All smiling and making jokes. They wore long robes black outfits, very circa 1950s.  I have no idea where they were going or why but they seemed very content with where they were, which is a quality i always admire when i see it.

For some reason these three innocents reminded me that not all men are evil douchebags.




I've been blessed to have a number of strong, intelligent, loving, compassionate men who have walked in my life and some of them are still there, standing as pillars I can lean on whenever needed. Most of these men are from youth group, high school, or elementary school. I know I can call them anytime and they would be there to give me advice, listen or make fun of me when I most need it. They have all seen me cry and laugh until I cried. They are straight and gay, fat and thin, blood related and not.  They are each beautiful and strong in their own way.  But the quality I admire the most in them is that they have cared for me and continue to do so, despite distance, time, or my particular attitude that day.

So there is hope.  There are men that will love me, that do love me for who I am and would never want me to change.

And for their existence, I feel blessed.

AHAB HAS CAUGHT THE WHITE WHALE, bitches.

The white whale came over to watch a movie in my turf last night. We ended up cuddling and then smooching as long as we could.

We're trying to stay in an introductory phase for as long as we can. We don't wanna get ahead of ourselves. Even though we find each other incredibly attractive. He is a man's man. Tall, dark (silver fox actually), Italian (meaning he speaks it sometimes which is...!!!), and so so very handsome. and the whole occupation doesn't hurt either. there is a high voltage charge between us that's too much to temper at times, but i'm going to try.

On the subject of books, The White Whale said, he only reads historical narratives.

i chided him and said he isn't giving reading a chance if he's only reading one genre. He replied, "i've read Moby Dick four times, though."

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT.
that was almost too crazy to believe. 

We watched a George Clooney film and then i put on Roman Holiday. The white whale said,
"Gregory Peck is best in the old version of Moby Dick."

 

WHATTTTTTTTT.

yes, y'all. this really happened. Ms. Ahab finally caught her fish and my did it taste so succulent.

I'm excited to see what the future holds for us. This time I'm excited because we are taking it at a glacial pace. This is a new concept to me. But I've reached a point in my life where I'd rather take my sweet time and invest, rather than waste it all in one shot and be disappointed.

party prose.

my favorite sort of night is when you have a glass of wine while putting your makeup on. but not too much wine, because you don't want to put on too much makeup.

you go out to your favorite bar. with your friends. and then other people show up that you don't know and you exchange names. everyone is friendly and talks and gets along.

everyone likes hearing what you choose to play on the jukebox. everyone likes motown so you play motown. everyone likes Sam Cooke.

you continue on with beer because that's what you started with, or you move on to whiskey. and moving onto whiskey is usually always a bad idea, but you chose to do so anyway. you are little older now, so you know to sip it and it won't be as bad as you know it could be.

everyone gets sick of the first bar and you go to another bar. the second bar is never as good as the first one, but you needed to leave the first bar. right now you couldn't say why you did if anyone asked you.

someone is restless like you and invited everyone back to there place. it is not yet 12am but everyone still wants to go back to someone's place. some of you go and some of you take cabs home together to make love, and some of you go home alone to watch a movie, eat drunkenly and bitch.

you go back to the house, because you are restless and still want to meet all these people and talk about their lives and talk about how they see the world. this all sounds better while holding a glass of wine. you sip that too though, because you want to enjoy every sip, every word that is coming out of this new person's lips.

the lights are lower in the room you all sit in. slowly, everyone goes off to bed, except for you and an attractive man. you stay up and talk. you exchange stories, know where he is from, what he did in high school with his friends - however nerdy, although you don't find it nerdy you find it endearing - who he is or who he is not in love with, his favorite drink, what he likes about women, what he hates about women.

he is fascinated by you and everything you say and you can tell he wants to kiss you. but you both don't do that because all this connection is too comfortable to mess up this late at night. so you fall asleep on the couch and the next morning you walk home and you see him in a month and you feel like he forgot about all of it, but you look at him like you didn't. 

Tag you're it.

Me and the white whale just talked on the phone for 30 minutes. I could barely breathe on the phone because he sounds so sexy......and i already know i laughed too much, failing to maintain any mystery. He gives me butterflies and it's so embarrassing. And i don't even think he thinks what I think. He probably just thinks i think of him as a friend.

He wants to become running buddies and drink beers. He wants to be friends? I don't know. I don't really care.

But when i got off the phone - this is what i did [WATCH AT 4:25 OF THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO].

And that's how i know if i have a crush on a sexy ass man. 

Boyfriend.

i wore my black crochet tights, my gray-hug-my-ass mini-skirt, my high Florentine leather boots and my polka-dot chiffon top with the perfect amount of cleavage showing. i was on my way to see a boy who i really really really like.

i was listening to this song:

And at the same time, i had the song on low enough to hear people around me -

the homeless man i passed bellowed to me: "Your boyfriend is a very lucky man!"


"if only," i thought as i gave an eye-roll, let out a reckoning smile and laugh.


ON THE METRO THIS SONG CAME ON MY IPHONE
\

i'm ready for a boyfriend. i've changed the way i date men and the type of men i'm attracted (men who seem like they aren't assholes and would like to be exclusive) to because i really am up for something different these days. it was fun for two years but now i'm tired of it.

PSA: To Men who DROP OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

Saturday night my friend asked me to go to a DC comedy showcase with her.  I had nothing to do after i came back from the exhibit and i thought, "well sure, what the hell i have nothing else going on."

She told her friend J that i was coming with. WELL J is friends with the LAWYER. the lawyer that took me to Le Diplomat - the lawyers that took me on a bunch of awesome dates and reminds me of the comedian Louie CK - for vague reasons - the lawyer i wanted to see more of..sorta.  And this LAWYER was going to the comedy show as well.

My roomie texted J to tell him i was coming. He responded with, "um no. don't bring her." So I guess J didn't want me to go, due to his friend not liking me. The lawyer hasn't spoken to me in 3 weeks and dropped off the face of the earth. It sucks, but it's ok.

Here's my issue with this situation.
Situation: When you go on multiple dates with a man and nothing is wrong and you have fun and that man you went on the dates with suddenly drops off of the face of the planet.

I'd much prefer that instead of you DROPPING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH, to tell me in person/via text that you want to be friends instead. EVEN IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS, at least humor me and tell me in person, "you'd rather be friends". If you tell me "i want to be friends" i will take it as you are no longer interested in seeing me," not as "we are friends." i'm not stupid and i know code words and phrases just like you do b/c i have used them before as well. Idiot.

This way, i do not have to have you in the maybe category. i can have you in the NO category. i can give my attention to the other men i am dating and stop wasting a thought on you.

I realize why you don't want to tell me and would rather DROP OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH than do so. I realize you want to have the easy way out. You think that if you never say anything it's better than possibly hurting my feelings. you think i will forget about you OR you think if you never CLEARLY break it off, at some point you can call me again months later and i will respond with wanting to fuck you. SOMEHOW THIS MAKES SENSE IN YOUR MIND.

#1 - if you never clearly break it off, i'm MORE likely to remember it, and MORE LIKELY to be MORE UPSET WITH YOU - not forget it. It's decent to tell me you're not interested. I realize it's hard BUT PUT YOUR BIG BOY PANTS ON AND COMMUNICATE. TELL ME THE TRUTH. i promise it is better than letting me just be irrationally mad at you. if you told me, I'd know it was because you were not attracted to me - physically, intellectually, ___________ly.

#2 - if you think that I'm going to WANT TO FUCK YOU after you avoiding me for several months like i have the bubonic plague THEN YOU ARE AN IDIOT and need to not ever meet another woman again, in order to spare future generations of carrying on your stupidity in their genetic make-up.

So since i was DIS-INVITED to the comedy show b/c this LAWYER could not gather the balls to simply text or tell me in person he was no longer interested in me - I went to my friends' M & B's house and watched the Red Wings game. It was very fun. We won! And then i went to a Bocce Ball bar w/ my cousin and his friends - which was drunk and good and what i wanted to do that this Saturday night.


At this point if LAWYER contacts me it would just be pointless, so i don't really care now. I'm fine with the idea that he's "just not that into me." I just wish men were more able to eloquently express their feelings. It's totally cool if you don't dig me. Just don't DROP OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH or give me silent treatment. It just makes me feel shittier than if you would've told the truth in the first place.

Friday night, the 27th

Friday night i went out with the HCMW (hawt canadian man whore) lawyer.  We went to Union Market for some tasty sea morsels of raw oysters. I ordered the Cava, he got a beer i forget the name of now. Oh and we also hacked away at a glorious crabcake, crispy on all sides, laying on a beg of pretentious (in the best sense) slaw.

The HCMW went to Berlin last week and told me of his travels. He spoke of beer and beer and sausages and bread. and lots of art. and people with crazy hair styles who will be cooler than you no matter how hard you try. He also said the bars were all hole in the wall, divey places with dark dark lights and a band that would consist of violinist and bass - or pick any two other instruments.

After that we then went to a bunch of other fine H Street establishments. They have great bars on that street. They are the kind that you can hide away in and will not see anyone you know. They are a bit smoky, loud and secret.

At the Old Queen Vic we had the most beers. Mostly of the Scottish fare. Then the HCMW continued to romance me and i was done for. We've been dating since August, so the jig is up.

After our fun night we went to the Crafty Bastards Craft fair.  I bought a beautiful print from an Asheville, NC's Marisol Spoon, http://marisolspoon.com/category.php?category_id=2 I got the "Librarian" one. So fitting. She is so cute. I can't wait to stick her in a frame.

The HCMW wears a St. Christopher necklace under his clothes, over his collarbone. He brought me back 3 huge bars of dark chocolate (70%+). He told me he wants to fatten me up so he won't have other men competing for my affections and he can have me all to himself. Ha! I thought that was very saucy to say.

"I Remember" by Anne Sexton

 

I remember by Anne Sexton.

Nothing can be done

Come a rain storm put your rubbers on your feet
Comes a snow storm you can get a little heat
Comes love nothing can be done
Comes a fire then you know just what to do
Blow a tire You can buy another shoe
Comes love nothing can be done
Don’t try hidin?
'Cause there isn’t any use
You’ll start slidin?
When your heart turns on the juice
Comes a headache you can lose it in a day
Comes a toothache see the dentist right away
Comes love nothing can be done!

Comes a heat wave you can hurry to the shore
Comes a summons you can hide behind the door
Comes love Nothing can be done
Comes the measles you can quarantine the room
Comes a mousie you can chase it with a broom
Comes love nothing can be done
That’s all brother
If you’ve ever been in love
That’s all brother
You know what I’m speaking of!
Comes a nightmare you can always stay awake
Comes depression you may get another break
Comes love nothing can be done!



WC's world came crashing down today and unfortunately i got to be "apart" of it.

I was solicited to speak to WC via fb chat and it turns out it wasn't really WC,  it was his 7 year live-in gf? i was messaging with this live-in gf. She messaged me seconds later to tell me it was her, how i ruined her life, blah blah blah.

although i do feel bad, i have to believe i was not the reason, but a factor in the demise.

i can tell you i have learned i will NEVER ever ever EVER flirt with an attached man.
woooo! what a doozy.
can you imagine if this involved a wife and children? i used to say i drew the line at wife and children, but because of this major fiasco, I'm revising that to "no significant others" PERIOD. 

it's made me think twice about kissing anyone.  


Love is so much more powerful than I once thought.

Still in the Running

Lawyer - he always plans amazing date nights, pays for everything, compliments me, is really funny and great conversation. and he is smart.

Hot Canadian Man Whore - We began as friends and now we make-out and kiss when we are together. As soon as he found out i was dating boys, be upped his game and now pays for everything. He calls me sweetie, hottie, and tells me to "stop being so sexy." He makes me blush all the time - yet i am friend zoning him b/c i know he does this with all his "girlfriends."

Hawt Ginge - I think i want to friend zone him, but he seems like the sweetest guy ever. We've only been out once but I can tell he is a good person. i just can't tell if i like him that way yet.